Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Walmart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrace.

The Walmart greeter said pleasantly, "Good morning, and welcome to Walmart.  Nice children you have there.  Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't.  The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.  Why the hell would you think they're twins?  Are you blind or just stupid?"

"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter.  "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice.  Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at Walmart."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to his doctor in Estero to get a physical.  A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.  After a couple of days, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

"Just doing what you said, Doc, 'Get a hot mamma, and be cheerful,'" Morris replied.

To which the doctor replied, "I didn't say that, Morris.  I said, you've got a heart murmur, be careful!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida adult community.  A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench.  After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"

He replies, "I lived here years ago."

"So, where were you all these years?"

"In prison," he says.

"Why did they put you in prison?"

He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife."

"Oh!" said the woman, sliding down the bench to be closer to him, "So you're single . . . ?"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

A Chicago salesman is on a business trip to Boston and had a few hours to kill before catching a plane home.  Remembering an old friend's advice to try some broiled scrod, a favorite fish in Boston, he hopped into a cab and asked the driver, "Say, do you know where I could get scrod around her?"

The driver replied, "Pal, I've heard that question a thousand times, but this is the first time in the passive pluperfect subjunctive."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old.  Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?"

"Yes," I answered and continued writing the report.

"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.  Is that right?"

"Yes, that's right," I told her.

"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010