LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.  Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine . . . ."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mum."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #200 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A car gets a flat on the interstate one day.

The blond driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.

She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.

The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers.

Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.

It isn't very long before a police car arrives.

The officer clearly enraged, approaches the blond of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What's going on here?"

"My car broke down, officer," says the woman calmly.

"Well, what in the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?" he asks.

"Hel-l-l-l-oooooooo!!!" says the blond.  "Those are my emergency flashers!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #197 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some

Two Rednecks are sittin' in a boat on the lake fishing and suckin' down beers when all of a sudden Woody says, "Ah think ah'm gonna divorce mah wife---she hain't spoke to me in over six months."

Bubba slowly sips his beer and says, "Ya'll better think it over--wimmen like that are hard to find."

"I want my husband to pay attention to me," says the woman to the clerk behind the counter.  "Do you have any perfume that smells like a computer?"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #194 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A very depressed man walks into a bar.  He sits down on a stool and orders a triple scotch.  He quickly downs his drink and orders another.  The bartender, seeing the man is in some distress, asks if he is all right.  The man replies, "I just came home early from work and found my wife in bed with my best friend.  I told her to pack her bags and go, it's finished between us."

The bartender said, "What about your friend?"

The man replied, "I looked him straight in the eye and said . . . BAD DOG!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #180 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.


Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.


Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the dog.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #186 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
"So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope!  Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #184 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II