LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A Texan rancher comes to Ireland and meets a Kerry farmer.

 

The Texan says, "Takes me a whole day to drive from one side of my ranch to the other."

 

The Kerry farmer says, "Ah sure, I know, sir.  We have tractors like that over here, too."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #176 in a complete manuscript  compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A man was telling his neighbor in Miami, "I just bought a new hearing aid.  It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.  It's perfect."

 

"Really," answered the neighbor, "What kind is it?"

 

"Twelve thirty."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #167 in a complete manuscript  compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.  However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.  After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

"I don't know," he said.  "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #166 in a complete manuscript  compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And then some!

"I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly.  "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake.  What a dream."

"I had a great dream too," said the other.  "I dreamed I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life."

His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two women, and you didn't call me?"

"Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, your wife said you'd gone fishing."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #164 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II.