LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
"So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope!  Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #184 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

What do you get from a pampered cow?  Spoiled milk.


What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?  Frostbite.


What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?  A nervous wreck.


What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?  Anyone can roast beef.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #180 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).

For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls."

As this soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this at the end, my curiosity got the best of me, and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"

Her response, "Because we always finish our prayers by saying, "All Men"!

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #179 in a complete manuscript  compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
          1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
          2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
                                        --Patrick Murray

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.  It's called marriage."
                                          --Sam Kinison

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #178 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II