LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

Two blond girls were working  for the city public works department.

One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of  the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing.  So he said to the hole digger, “I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it—why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team.

But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #97 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

An Irish priest is driving down to  New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut .   The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #97 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

Sunday, I had a near death experience that has changed me forever.

I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse starts bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down.

Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness the Walmart manager came and unplugged it.

Thank goodness for Real Heroes!

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #96 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving.

She gets pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?"

The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."

The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"

The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE."

The woman gives him her license.

The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."

The woman turns to her husband and asks," What did he say?"

"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #90 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II