LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive.

The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him.

"There ain't no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him.

"What in hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

"I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't
feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go!"

 "Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice night," said the officer.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #102 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
    
I know I got a lot of  exercise.  The last few years,......
Just getting over the hill..
 
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.  That's my story and I'm sticking to  it.
    
 Every time I start thinking too much
About how I look, I just find a Happy Hour
And by the time I leave, I look just fine.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #100 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

 Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

 One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

 If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #99 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!


I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.


He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #98 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II