LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A Frickin' Elephant:

Jake is 5 and learning to read.  He points at a picture in a zoo book and says,  "Look Mama!  It's a frickin' Elephant!"

Deep breath . . . "What did you call it?"

"It's a frickin' Elephant, Mama!  It says so on the picture!"

 . . . and so it does . . .
 
"A f r i c a n Elephant."

Hooked on phonics!!!!  Ain't it wonderful?

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #210 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A blond suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her so she goes out and buys a gun.  She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blond is really angry.  

She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief . . .

She takes the gun and puts it to her head . . .

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blond replies, "Shut up,  you're next!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #208 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A recent study conducted by Harvard University found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study by the American Medical Association found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcoholic beverage a year.

This means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.
 

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #206 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A little old man shuffled slowly into the "Orange Dipper," an ice cream parlor in Naples.

He pulled himself slowly and painfully up onto a stool.

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "hemorrhoids."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #203 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II