LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A woman, shopping for Thanksgiving dinner, was picking through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket.

She could not find one she felt was big enough for the special Thanksgiving dinner.

A clerk came buy to stock the bins and she asked “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

The clerk responded “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #127 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

What’s the definition of a minor second?
Two piccolos playing in unison.

What’s the definition of perfect pitch in a flute?
When you toss it in the trash and don’t hit the rim.

What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. The piano player does it with his left hand.

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They have machines for that now.

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
Homeless.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #124 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

Why did the chicken wear red suspenders? In case there was a fire across the road.

 

Little Johnny was asked by his teacher to spell “straight,” little Johnny did so without error.

“Bravo,” said the teacher, “now, what does it mean?”

“Without water in it.”

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #123 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day . . .
                         30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men . . .

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #117 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II